11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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