I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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