you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
