i wish there were pregnant emoticons
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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