Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
