This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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