who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
