so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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