i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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