Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
