I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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