Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
