I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
