ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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