Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My vagina just recognized that song.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
