Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
