why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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