HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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