so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
