Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
