Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
