I didn't shave. On purpose
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
