am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she told me i tasted like america
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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