Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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