i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
