Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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