Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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