um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
is wine microwaveable?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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