dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Hippo gnu deer
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
