We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
