quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
high people should be assigned attendants
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
