You smell like a Billy Joel song
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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