I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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