you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
