Hey man sorry I got all grabby
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
