Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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