if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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