I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
