nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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