I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Such a big mess for such a small penis
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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