And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
