I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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