tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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