porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
