Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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