i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
