Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The air taste purple.
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