i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
