He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Let's paint friendship bongs
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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