Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
